Living with a story

Preparing a story, living it for days and days, thinking about it, writing it down then putting it aside and thinking more, embodying a story, gives me a lot more then "just a story to tell."

Most of the time, I understand more connections, understand more about myself too, then did at the beginning.

As usual, there is something with propels me to take up that story or that episode of my life. This time, it goes far into Archer's very political speech for the May's contest, and then, telling me last time "we do not do politics here", but also the Red Scarf so proudly worn by the nice Ukrainian woman, telling us how happy her childhood and the Pioneers camp times were, where all ported Red Scarf, like her showed us at the meeting.

Where is "my red Scarf?" - I decided to tell that story next time. No, not "politics" just a personal story of what and how it happened to me, personally. Will it please that to Archer, that is another matter, because we are too much sometimes in our own beliefs to consider anything else valid.

No, it will be not about the Iron Curtain having lifted up 20 years ago, as I wanted to speak, nor the fall of the Berlin wall, just a bit of the life of some youngsters, in fact two young girls, one 16 the other 8, in Socialist's Bucarestl: "to everyone what she deserves" as they pretended and I did believe we'll all have.

"One night, after as usual I went to bed, with the portrait of Lenin across my bed and the books of Marx, Engels, Lenine and Stalin over my head, just a few hours later, I woke up, to some noise. Heavy boots seemed to be walking in our usually very quiet living room. Am I dreaming? I pulled the edredon tighter to my thin nightgown my heart drumming. What can it be? Then, the steps come toward my room's door."

That is how the story will begin, I think.

I am still working on it, and day by day I understand more of the meanings it conveys to me, perhaps, to others too, way beyond the incidents that provoked its creation and telling. I do understand mostly about why, now, helping one from time to time, is the important thing for me, not changing the whole world.

And of course, when the story will be ready and ripe, and I'll find my Dictaphone or buy a new one, tell it, I'll put it here to so those of you who want, can listen to it. For the moment, it is too long, and even more important I have to let it "ripe" a bit more. To take from it all it can offer me, and to others.