Saturday, February 12, 2011
I decided, I will not, yet, not now, talk about my husband slapping me, as I was expecting a child, or anything around it.
At least, not now, in the Theatre "Family" theme.
I will listen to my children, but mostly daughter-in-law and sun-in-law. there is time for everything.
But I want you to know, I have been there, done that, and survived.
At the end of the tunnel, I found out that there IS a way out, as soon as we are determined enough: helps arrives, and often even from unexpected places and people!
I did think, I will not be able to live with my two children, on my small salary, I did think, if I separate, I risk that they are taken away, I did think, he will come after me, after us.
Yes, I did fear him.
It was far away in the past, and I was not a "beaten" woman, "just" slapped, whenever he got really angry for, sometimes, no reasons.
It was a long long time ago, and finally i did forgive myself.
He is dead.
I remarried, 20 years later. Between the two, separation, and remarriage, I was able to rise my children, even if he did not help financially. First, those of my work helped, then my father too.
"But you should have known that I'll do!"
I did not know. He never told me.
Then, finally, I did found a company and stood by my own feet. Not so bad after all. I was able to do it on my own, and to send my children to university, with no outside help.
I write it here, in my blog, that not so many reads, and one day, I will tell the whole story.
What has bothered me most, over the years was how a nice boy could transform himself, to got the upper hand, after he betrayed me, into a fast jump and slap man.
Beginning to study again, helped me first out. Then deciding, small things do not matter, give in for those. I still stood up for what mattered, but with time, perhaps even that moved.
What is important and what is not?
Anyway, there is a way out, and I am here to tell it.