Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Notting Hill candid
No smile here and no pose.
She was feeling and listening to the future baby at the same time as to speaking with him. He was showing his appreciation of her as woman also not only as future mother.
I loved her short dress and would have liked to be young now, at this age when women can show their body not hide it, at that age I regretted not to be able to show what was great of me: my body more then my face...
They talked relaxed, after finishing their cup of tee or coffee. I did this one while (before and after) taking photos of the young photographer at whose table we have sit down, with his permission, while speaking about how to take street photography and how much interesting is happening around.
Yes, I would have liked to be at her place! Have a tender, loving husband, and appreciating even as I was expecting. In fact, mine was warm when I was, the first time at least, not with the second child.
By that time he had become even violent. Sudden outbursts, I never knew what to expect. When. What to do, what not to say. It did not happen often but I become afraid of him. I can guess only different reasons, but never would know for sure, how my warm husband changed so much his relation with me, after his visit "home" to Romania "I have to visit my parents now that I can", after he betrayed our marriage and even gave our address so one of them could write to him, after I found out and was deeply disapointed.
Disappointed that he left me alone while expecting and in bed for two month (until the future baby moved), disappointed that he did not come back a whole month, disappointed by a letter I found by chance coming home one noon time feeling tired, disappointed by the vulgar wording of the explicit letter, disappointed in my dreams of "my marriage is better then average and that of my parents".
He did not succeed to break me, but it was the lowest point of my life. After my son was born, I concentrated on my happiness with him, and my daughter. Tried to forgive if not to forget.
Until the next time.
But that is again another story far away from motherhood and the picture and all it evoked in me this morning.